Dementia Christmas Tree Analogy

I’m not sure what dementia is supposed to look like.  Although I have some really good moments when I feel like anything is possible, I also have moments when confusion and disorientation take control of my emotions, my actions and my body functions. Dementia doesn’t just happen over-night.Think of a beautiful tree all decorated with lots of new lights, ornaments and ribbons.  One day one of the bulbs start to flicker.  You tap it a little and it goes back on. Over time, another starts to flicker and another.  Sometimes you can get them to come back on and sometimes they will not come back on.

So, you make adjustments to distract from the burnt-out lights.  Move an ornament or add some tinsel to enhance the lights.  All the while this is happening, your tree remains beautiful and brightens the room.  People who don’t see your tree often or who visit during the day time may not notice the lights flickering or those that are totally off.  But youkathys-christmas-tree know that in time all the lights will fade.

I have times when my lights flicker and some of those “bulbs” don’t want to come back on, for example with math.

For now, enough lights are still shinning that I can try to brighten the world. Physically I am strong and healthy.  My husband Roy and I have found that I CAN do many things that I did before – I just have to do them diff

erently. We try to find an adjustment to compensate for the flickering
bulbs.

Sometimes people say “You don’t look like you have dementia.” and I’m thankful my lights aren’t flickering or that we’ve made the right adjustments.  For now my tree stands tall, bright and beautiful.  With routines and adjustments I able to live a beneficial, happy life. The day may come when all my light bulbs are dim, but for now, I
am thankful for all the days when I can be useful. As my husband reminds me, a Christmas tree is also beautiful during the day when the lights are off.

I am not the same Laurie I was, but with adjustments, planning and routines my lights can still sparkle.

There are many variations using the analogy of dementia being like a Christmas Tree. I think this is such a great analogy that after writing it I put it into a video.  I am honored that Dementia Action Alliance (daanow.org)  is using this video in their network for good fundraising effort.  Dementia Action Alliance networkforgood

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Love & Laughter,

Laurie

© Copyright November 2016 Laurie Scherrer

Did Winnie-The-Pooh have Dementia?

It recently occured to me that A.A. Milne had an understanding of dementia when he created Winnie-The Pooh.  Throughout the exciting stories of The hundred Acre Woods this “chubby little cubby all stuffed with fluffy” often mentions his forgetfullness, cognitive impairments and not being able to say what he wants to get across.20121207_184343

Although some phrases used in 1929 to describe dementia (such as “a bear of very little brain”) may seem unacceptable today, the stories often describe what dementia is like.  And who can resist the words, wisdom and laughter of The Silly Old Bear?  No matter what goes wrong – he ends up smiling!

The Pooh gang was full of new adventures. Some brought challenges, fear and loneliness, but through it all they found a way to turn their journey into laughter. Although Winnie-The-Pooh and gang have been a passion of mine for a long time, I have recently found that I can really relate to many of quotes from Winnie-The-Pooh.

There are days when I just can’t say what I am trying to say – the words just get stuck in my head.  As the Pooh Bear said:

“When you are a bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thinkish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.andrew-pooh-2007

At times, conversation tires me out because of the amount of energy it takes to comprehend the words.  Here’s how Pooh explains it:


“For I am a bear of very little brain, and long words bother me.”

“It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words, but rather short, easy words (like What’s for lunch).

Like me, the Silly Old Bear was also challenged with memory loss, counting, getting lost and forgetting how to spell (thankfully we live in an age of GPS and spellcheck).  He put it this way:
“Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?”

“I did know once, only I’ve sort of forgotten.” 

 “My spelling is Wobbly. It’s good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.” 

“I’m not lost for I know where I am.  But however, image-00367where I am may be lost.”

“Something feels funny.  I must be thinking too hard.”

In the Hundred Acre Woods, Winnie-The-Pooh has a “Thoughtful Spot.” He often goes there, sits down on a log, taps his head, closes one eye and says “Think, Think, Think.”  That is a sign that he is thinking hard. Roy and I also have a thoughtful spot – it’s called a hot tub.

In our thoughtful spot we cry, laugh and “Think, Think, Think.”  Roy and I work constantly to identify obstacles that are causing a challenge and figure out what adjustments we can make to overcome the obstacle.  In Pooh’s words: “Think it over, think it under.”

Poor Winnie-The-Pooh seems to have experienced cabin fever which has clearly led to hallucinations.  Staying at home with little social interaction at times makes me feel like this, only I talk to the dogs rather than a mirror.

Winnie-the Pooh to his reflection: “Oh, Hello.  Am I glad to see you.  It’s more friendly with two.”

The Pooh stories also do a good job summing up how lucky I am to have my best friend as my husband.cruise-9-04-charactors-02-1

“It’s so much more friendly with two.” 

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?’ asked Piglet. Even longer,’ Pooh answered.” Winnie-the-Pooh” 

“As soon as I saw you, I knew a grand adventure was about to happen.”

And how special my family is:

“A day spent with you is my favorite day.”

“Some people care too much.  I think it’s called love.”

“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can never be apart.”


“How do you spell Love Piglet?” “You don’t spell it, you feel it.” – Pooh.

As I travel down this dementia journey, I have found love, laughter and inspiration from a Silly Old Bear named Winnie-The-Pooh.  Hopefully I will also be able to bring joy into the lives of others.img_0258

So to all my friends and family wherever you are, I’ll end with some wisdom from Christopher Robin:

“If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together . . . there is something you must always remember. You’re braver than you
believe and stronger and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart . . . I’ll always be with you.”

Just a note:  Winnie-The-Pooh also said: “Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.”  I haven’t tried it yet, but I bet it works!

Hope this brings you smiles!
Love  & Laughter,dsc00010

Laurie

Making the bed with dementia

Adjusting To Dementia #2 Bed Sheets

Making two beds does not sound like a big deal.  In the world of dementia anything can set off confusion and start the downfall into the “Dementia Daze Zone”.  Even making two beds can turn into a confusion battle zone.

It was a beautiful Spring day – just right for washing the blankets and sheets and drying them on the line.  As I carried them in the house, the aroma of Spring filled the bedrooms.  Taking in the crispness, I smiled and sang along with my music as I made up the King size bed with the fresh sheets, blankets and pillow cases.  Everything plumped and beautiful I moved on to the queen size bed.

As I placed the fitted sheet on the bed, it wouldn’t fit?  So I turned it.  Still didn’t fit.  And again, and again.  I’ve made this bed hundreds of times. Finally, I managed to get the bottom sheet on and started with the top sheet – same thing.  I could not grasp how to make that bed!  Now, having worked on one bed for over an hour, my anxiety level was high, I was feeling dejected, befuddled and VERY frightened.  I remember thinking – “Why can’t I figure this out? Is this one more challenge we will have to deal with?  Am I now going to need help making a bed?  Yet another task to throw on Roy!”

As usual, Roy stepped in and helped me finish the task. The remainder of the day is a fog to me.  As I ventured into the Dementia Daze Zone I couldn’t process how to cook, my speech became impaired, I had trouble with my balance and everything just seemed mixed-up.

When this happened for the second time, Roy and I knew we had to figure out how to adjust to this new challenge.  What was the obstacle that allowed my head to function to make one bed with no problem, but caused confusion when making the other bed?  As we worked together trying to determine if it was the room, the foot board or . . . no – it’s the sheets!  The King size sheets have stripes; the queen size sheets are solid.  Sure enough, I struggled every time I tried to use solid sheets!

We managed to overcome this obstacle by putting tags on the bottom of our sheets.  It has worked fantastic!  I know many people without dementia who want to do this as well.  You can see the details in the video below.

TIPS ON CHANGINGYOUR BED SHEETS WITH DEMENTIA with LAURIE SCHERRER from Dementia Mentors on Vimeo.

In many cases, there is something that triggers a dementia reaction.  It would be so easy to give up and say “I can’t do that anymore.”  But I don’t want to live my life giving up.  Roy and I work hard together trying to identify the obstacles that cause our challenges and then figure out what adjustments get us around that barrier.  Sometimes, it’s as simple as stripes on sheets.

Love & Laughter,

Laurie

grocery shopping with dementia

Adjusting to Dementia #1 Grocery Shopping

People frequently ask how I adjust for the challenges caused with increasing symptoms. No longer being able to multitask, getting confused following directions and lack of focus, does often make it difficult to maintain a house and have some social activities. Sometimes it seems like we no sooner resolve one issue than another pops up.

Roy and I don’t accept the fact that I CAN’T do things anymore. Instead, we try to review each challenge, figure out what the obstacle is and find a way to adjust to make it happen.

Some of the adjustments we have made are so simple and so convenient that some our friends (who don’t have dementia) decided to use these techniques as well. I’m going to start with two affordable Hooks that have helped eliminate some Dementia Daze.

Loosing Keys:
People often tell me they loose their keys all the time. I did too. Except . . . with dementia, we tend to try to put EVERYTHING in a “SAFE Place”! In my case the “Safe Place” was ANYWHERE – – generally the freezer, in back of the cleaning supplies or in the safe, which is also where I put eggs, milk, remotes, etc.. Once we learned where my head thought was a “Safe Place” we knew where to look, until my head decided it found a new “Safe Place”.

Obstacle #1: Finding the keys.
The best way to find the keys is never to lose them. As with most women, I rarely leave the house without my purse. After deciding the best place to keep my keys was with my purse, we attached a hook onto my purse that holds my keys. I am happy now to say, I have not lost my keys in over 6 months! They never leave my purse. With the hook, I can easily move the keys from one purse to another. The hook and key holder are long enough that while my purse is on my arm, I can reach the door to lock it, sturdy enough that it is not going to fall off and small enough that I can slip it into my purse so only the end shows and it doesn’t get in my way. So the answer is: to never lose your keys!!! Keep them attached to your purse! Sorry men, I don’t have an answer for you.

Obstacle #2: The grocery cart and the grocery bags.

As many people with dementia, I have lost my ability to filter sound. Voices become amplified as though I am in a cave. When shopping, noise is everywhere, baby crying, kids running, people talking, carts banging – – chaos!
Moved the creamer – – track it down – – Whew! Finally done – – Go to the checkout – – – Five people in line – – Noise intensifying – – coming from every angle – – Can’t think, sounds like everyone is speaking through a boom box.

The one little outing that others take for granted, is often a tremendous undertaking. Because it creates such mental fatigue, I am usually unable to focus on anything else the rest of the day.

As with many things in our lives, my husband and I have found some tips to make grocery shopping easier me:

Shopping needs to be done before 10:00 in the morning Monday through Thursday when the store is less crowded. Always shop the same store – it reduces the confusion of finding things and becomes a familiar environment with familiar faces.
I am fortunate to live near Giant Food Stores in Gilbertsville. The manager and employees are WONDERFUL! Rebecca in customer service is always smiling. The gentleman at the fish counter, the young man who helps bag the groceries, the women at the checkout and even the man who collects the carts – they don’t know me and I don’t know their names, but they are all familiar faces and make me feel comfortable. More than once when I asked where to find an item, rather than saying an aisle number – they took me to it! Wow! That is such a help.

After a few times of loosing my purse and walking off with someone else’s cart, we came up with a simple solution to keep my cart and purse together. So far it’s worked great!

I made the below video to share with many of my dementia friends at Dementiamentors.org. I only hope all the Giant Gilbertsville Customers don’t find out and start using this idea – well, if so we will have to figure out a new strategy!

TIPS FOR GROCERY SHOPPING WITH DEMENTIA with LAURIE SCHERRER from Dementia Mentors on Vimeo.

Enjoy!

Love & Laughter,

Laurie

The Importance of Daily Routines

I had the pleasure of sharing a discussion with my friend and author Gary Joseph LeBlanc.  In this video chat, we dicuss the importance of a daily routine.  Enjoy!

Importance of Routine Round Table13379e7000cec2ee9107c432fe437b95

In addition to Gary’s relentless work advocating for dementia care, he is involved with training and implementing “The Purple Wristband” program in many hospitals and has written a number of short fun stories and recently published a book for caregivers.  He also owns and operates a Book Store and cares for his Mom (late stages of Alzheimer’s).   His books are all available on Amazon.

Link to Gary’s Book for Caregivers

Walking For Alzheimer’s Association

Roy & I will once again be participating in the Alzheimer’s Walk.  This year – we have a walk just for Berks County!!! YEAH!!  The 2 mile walk will be held at Penn State Berks Campus on Saturday October 8th, 2016.  We have been hoping that the Alzheimer’s Association will increase their training and support efforts in the Berks County Area (currently they mainly service Philadelphia area).  We are encouraged that this may be a step in that direction.

Wimg_3160-1e were so blessed last year with 29 people walking in our team “Laurie’s Loves”!  What a fabulous show of support!  Our goal was $2,500 – we raised $2,725!!  I am hoping we can reach $3,000 this year.  Thank you all so much for the love & support – by joining us on the walk or supporting our efforts with a contribution!

If you would like to join Laurie’s Loves and walk with us or if you would like to make a donation for the walk the below link will take you directly to website page:

http://act.alz.org/site/TR/Walk2016/General?px=9374300&pg=personal&fr_id=9251

If you prefer to mail a check – please complete the form on mimg_4715y walk page and mail it with your check

 

Thank you all for all your love & support!

Roy & Laurie

Virtual Lights of Love

Virtual Lights of Love Candlelight Service

November is National Alzheimer’s Awareness Month. Each year the virtual Lights of Love Candlelighting Service is held to promote dementia awareness by remembering those with dementia and those who were taken by dementia.  To particpate in this event, my family spent part of their Thanksgiving Day reminding me how that they will always be here to support me. I love you all.

Is it Senseless to Dream and Plan?

To dream the impossible dream . . . or is it? A journey with Dementia

My Dad, who had visited oStand Up To Your Obstacles Pealever 200 countries, often said he regretted that he and my Mom never fulfilled their plans to tour the United States.  My husband, Roy, and I have shared that same dream for many years.  Although we have traveled to many states for various functions, we have never truly “seen” the states. Knowing that at some point my dementia will prohibit such a trip, we set a date and started to plan. 2018 for a four to five week trip exploring our wonderful country. AWESOME!

As we shared our dream with others, the reactions were mostly targeted on why I could NOT take this trip. People were quick to point out my confusion and lack of focus, as well as the expense. Some openly expected me to fail and expressed it as an unrealistic waste of time to try. My excitement started to wane, being replaced with a feeling of loss for a trip I would never take.

Dreams are the foundation of hopes and ideas. They are often the beginning of the challenges weundertake, and the stimulus for our accomplishments.  They are the drive that empowers us to keep moving forward. We dream of getting a new job or a new house, raising a family, being successful, and overcoming obstacles. “Hope is a waking dream” (quote by Aristotle).   Therefore, as you destroy my dream, you also destroy my hope.

“Is it unrealistic to dream and make plans, even though the odds may be against it?”

As I contemplated this, I became inspired by some of the well-known “greats” of the world who accomplished their dreams in spite of their disabilities. Helen Keller, though deaf and blind gained a bachelor’s degree, campaigned on, disability and women’s rights and became a well-respected speaker. Beethoven composed some of the most sublime pieces of music after he was deaf. Bethany Hamilton after loosing her arm in a vicious shark attack, got back on her surfboard and (in addition to many other championships) went on to win First place in the NSSA National Surfing Champion. There are thousands of people who reached for a dream in spite of the odds. Some made it and some did not, but they all battled tremendous obstacles to follow their dream.

When people try to protect me by saying and expecting that I am unable to do something, in essence they are crushing a piece of my spirit. Yes, I have many limitations. As so many others have, we are learning to deal with them. We are learning to make adjustments, working around challenges and obstacles, while still maintaining the ability to love and laugh. Michael Jordon said; “If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never change the outcome.”

Maybe I am setting my expectations too high, or maybe I just need to figure out how to overcome the obstacles. If you take away my hopes and my dreams, I am left with an empty life of watching my degenerative brain impairment slowly make changes to my life. No, I won’t let otheObstacles Don't Have To Stop You Michale Jordanrs squash my dreams! Instead, I will reach for the unreachable star and follow my dreams “no matter how hopeless, no matter how far” (Don Quixote).

Now having made that decision, I need to get started on some plans. Stay tuned for future posts on planning for 2018! Sure, there is a possibility that it may not happen, but think of all the fun we will have planning and dreaming!

Love & Laughter,  Laurie

Written By Laurie Scherrer June 2015

Here’s my Inspiration:  Gomer Pyle “To Dream The Impossibe Dream”

© Copyright June 2015 Laurie Scherrer