Perfect gifts for a loved one progressing with Dementia.

With the holidays rapidly approaching, our thoughts often stray towards “What is the perfect gift?” “What can I give my loved one who needs nothing?”  Too often, we end up with the typical fallback items of pajamas, socks, a shawl, or slippers.  

For a loved one who has progressing dementia or is elderly and wants/needs nothing, these items may be a nice gesture but will soon be lost or forgotten.  Consider instead a gift that may spark a memory, create some engagement, provide a warm fuzzy feeling, or can be a friend.  You could enhance their life by giving something therapeutic and engaging.

Here are some gifts that may bring a smile, encourage conversation, and/or provide comfort:

• Tag a Photo – Take a current family photograph and write the names of each member across their picture. This may help reduce some frustration when your loved one can’t remember who the people are.
• Engage conversation and memories with photos – Go through photos or photo albums and write the names on the front or back.  Spend time sharing the photos and talking about the people, the event, the vacation or occasion that relates to the photos.
• Buy a Twiddle and spend some play time together.  Twiddles are a playful activity/comfort aide designed to keep hands and minds active and engaged, or soothed and calmed.  You can purchase Twiddles on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/stores/TWIDDLE/page/71F66E08-60E5-4608-8B33-EEF9340E83F3?ref_=ast_bln).  Use Amazon Smile and you can also give a gift to a charity at no extra cost to you!  Amazon sends a portion of proceeds to your charity – I recommend Dementia Action Alliance.
• Bring some comfort through a companion – A soft & squishy stuffed animal or baby doll can provide a warm fuzzy feeling and something to cuddle.  An animated dog or cat that barks/purrs, snores and rolls over can offer the warmth and enhance the sense of touch and hearing.  These sounds can be soothing.  Joy For All ( https://joyforall.com) has some lovely pets for adoption.
• Memory Picture/Photo Phone – These phones make phone calls easier by clicking a photo rather than a name or phone number.  There is a large selection of styles and most include hands free dialing as well.
• Digital Day Clock – Large display digital clocks that show the Day, Date and Time are a wonderful aide to help maintain independence.   They come in a variety of models and functions which include alarms and reminders.
• Weighted Blanket or Shawl – Many people find that a weighted blanket or shawl can help reduce anxiety and provide a feeling of being cuddled and comforted.
• Easy Remote – A variety of remote controls are available to simplify usage.  This can be extremely helpful to reduce confusion.
• Puzzles – Personalized puzzles with a family photo or specific memory 
• Personalized Memory Game – take the concentration game to a new level with a Personalized Memory Game! Enjoy a memory game and memories at the same time! A great way to spend time together and stimulate conversation and memories.
• Drawings by children – have the children or grand-children, draw or color pictures and tape them to the wall.  Children’s drawings always bring a smile!
• Games & Activities – Search the internet for Games for Dementia – there are many activity books for people living with dementia
• Gel Seat Cushion – As the amount of sitting increases as the amount of ability decreases, something “cushy for the tushy” is sure to soothe more than just the soul.
• Guest Book Register Book  – ask all guest to “sign-in” each time they come and review the guest book together  

The most important gift is YOUR TIME.  Make your gift special by including time to engage with your loved one to talk about photos, play games, color, sing or read together.  Time is much more precious than slippers.

Wishing you all a holiday season filled with love & laughter! 

Laurie

Dementiadaze.com

Dementia does not define who I am. It is merely a small part of the many facets of my
life, affecting decisions and changes in how I live.

I am Laurie Scherrer, and I am a wife, a writer, a SCUBA Diver, an educator, and an advocate. I’m a traveler and a speaker. Oh, and I am also living with dementia.

People that live with dementia should not be reduced to simply a diagnostic label
pronounced by a doctor. Nor should they be stigmatized by a society that sees the
diagnosis rather than individual abilities and identities.

Living with dementia does not automatically equal total memory loss, inability to make
our own decisions, nor undeserving of living an independent life enriched with purpose,
beauty, and fulfillment.

We are not defined solely by a label of dementia. As with most people, we are the
cultivation of our upbringing, culture, spiritual fulfillment, lived experiences,
accomplishments, failures, and our many challenges.

The medical profession and those in our communities often perceive us as incapable of
contributing to any aspect of daily living. We are viewed as dying of dementia rather
than LIVING WITH dementia. We are viewed as having limitations, which makes us feel
worthless and incompetent.

Together, we will lift our voices to shout out that we are not a label and dementia does
not define who we are. Together we can focus on our abilities, not our inabilities, and on how we can be of help to others and thus help ourselves.

Love & Laughter,

Laurie

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer.

During a trip to Cape Town, South Africa, I enjoyed the experience of parasailing off Table Mountain.  Although, truth be told, I found the slow descent of parasailing much less thrilling than my sky diving adventure – it was still exciting.

I was able to view Cape Town from a totally different perspective.  Rather than seeing a crowded city full of buildings that were prominent at street level, I was able to take in the beauty that surrounded it.   The ocean, the mountains, and hills, and the dolphins playing, that were hidden by concrete changed the way I saw Cape Town.

“If you change the way you look at dementia, the people living with dementia will change.” – Laure’s version.

Last week, after speaking at the National Research Summit on Dementia Care, I was encouraged about how the perception of dementia is slowly starting to shift.  People living with dementia were included in the program and many of the presentations incorporated the importance of including people living with dementia in decisions.  Wow – this is the beginning of progress!  The stigma of dementia and the way people look at dementia is starting to change!

, It’s time to re-image dementia from a different view and change the attitude from people dying of dementia to people living with dementia, from caregiver to care partner, and to focus on the individual’s abilities rather than their disabilities.

Love & Laughter,

Laurie

In our world of dementia, I’ve learned that there are still so, so many things that we can do. We just have to do it different[ly]…

I mourn the fact that I can’t do a lot of things in life… So, a lot of mentoring is helping people to understand, ‘No you can’t do all the things you did do, but you still can do a lot.‘

-Laurie

Revolutionizing Dementia Care reveals how people living with dementia can still live a full and meaningful life based on their abilities, not their disabilities. Thank you to PBS and Dementia Action Alliance for their support and encouragement. Please support these organizations.

You can watch the full documentary here: https://ideastations.org/RevolutionizingDementiaCare

“Innovative approaches in memory care communities have shown improvements in the well-being of residents as they’re included, engaged and supported in social gatherings, clubs, and everyday activities. A revolution is here where people living with dementia get the individual heart-felt care they need.” – Community Idea Stations PBS

I was honored to represent Dementia Action Alliance for the Health & Aging Policy Symposium held in Washington, D.C.

This could impact some of the decisions on policies for dementia care.

Laurie Sherrer: “Dementia Action Alliance” Advisory Board Member Presenting at the “Health & Aging Policy Spring Symposium.” May 16, 2018, Washington DC.