No More Tools For Christmas

One of my most of embarrassing times in life came before I had dementia. Since that day, I will NEVER again buy tools for my husband! Should I ever forget – – I’m counting on all of you to remind me!

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No More Tools!

Being the procrastinator that I tend to be, it was two days before Christmas and I did not have a gift for my husband. Although I prefer to find something unique and special, I had no choice but to pull out his wish list. Roy’s wish list came directly out of the Sears Tool Catalog with page numbers, item numbers and cost. I knew the basics, hammer, wrench, and screwdriver – How hard could this be? Too late to order – so off to Sears I went.
Sears was packed with the normal Christmas crowd, long lines and associates trying to help three people at once. After walking up and down the aisles for 20 minutes, I stopped a busy employee to ask where to find a 24 inch square.
The very young assistant, hurriedly informed me they were in aisle 5 on the left, “You can’t miss them” he proclaimed. Fifteen minutes later, I still had not found a square.
Again, I waited in line and asked another young associate for help. “I am looking for a 24 inch square. I looked in Aisle 5, but don’t see any.” He walked with me to aisle 5 and handed me an “L” shaped metal ruler thing.
“That’s not a square – it’s an “L”,” I insisted. Although, his eyes were saying; “Why me?” he explained that it is used to square off corners. OH – that makes sense.
“Where do I find a Micro Meter?”
“I’ve never heard of a Micro Meter,” he said quizzically. “Let me ask another associate”. One by one they huddled together for a laugh. Finally, the manager, who at this point was the only one not snickering, walked over and explained that they don’t have a Micro Meter.
“You must,” I explained. “It’s in your tool catalog on page 896 item #14.”
He walked over to the desk, pulled out the catalog and started to laugh. Looking as though he was about to burst, he returned and offered to show me where to find a micrometer (pronounced my-crom-eater, not micro meter).
Two down. Understanding that I was not going to be able to complete this list alone, the manager offered to help me find the items on my husband’s list. What a relief! I had already spent over an hour and only had two small items.
With much embarrassment, I handed him the list and explained that my husband was pulling a joke and the next item would not be in Sears. He glanced at the list and totally lost it! Through his laughter he informed me that Sears does in fact carry Stud Finders.
By the time I paid for all my items, every employee on that floor was in hysterics. So glad I could add some laughter to their hectic day. Although I know now what a square, micrometer and stud finder is – – No more tools ever!
My wish for you this Christmas season is love, laughter and a Wish list that does not include tools!
Merry Christmas to you all!

Written By Laurie Scherrer

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