Dear Teenager,
To answer your questions, “What does dementia feel like – does it hurt?” I want you to think back on some of the places we went.
When we went to the fun house with all the mirrors everything was funny looking and out of proportion. Although we could tell it was us, it just didn’t look right.
At the big corn maze, we got all turned around and every path looked the same. At first it was fun, but when we thought we would never get out – it was really scary.
After going around & around & around 30 times or so on the “Twister” we couldn’t walk straight and everything was spinning. It was difficult not to run into things.
When you saw ‘Maleficent” in 3D, you told me how real it seemed. When you took the glasses off you could still make it out, but it was all fuzzy and gave you a headache.
My heart was saddened to hear you cry when your classmate unfriended you on FB. In our conversation, you were angry, sad, and frustrated all at the same time.
Dementia is kind of like a really bad experience doing all these things at once. If you take all these feelings and put them together at one time, that is how dementia feels on a bad day.
- Life seems distorted and out of proportion – things just don’t look right.
- I feel trapped in a maze of wacky mirrors – and can’t figure out which way to turn.
- My surroundings seem off balance – it’s difficult not to run into things, drop them or knock them over.
- Everything seems out of focus – my whole world seems fuzzy and sometimes causes a headache.
- My emotions take control – I am frustrated, sad and angry all at the same time.
All these feelings can be mixed together for a few hours or a few days. You ask; “Does it hurt?” Mostly it hurts inside, because I can’t accomplish the things I want to and I know it is not going to get better. But right now is a good moment. So today, for this good moment – – however long it may last, we are going to laugh, take pictures and count our blessing for every moment we can share.”
Love & Laughter, Laurie
Written By Laurie Scherrer
© Copyright 2015 Laurie Scherrer
rt Bowles, Harry Urban, Norms McNamara, David Kramer, Chris Roberts, Paulan Gordon, Susan Suchan, Karen Francis, Rick Phelps, Truthful Kindness, and Jennifer Bute. Like Rita Hayworth and Pat Summit, most of these people were diagnosed before age 58.
ll needed to do. Since I couldn’t accomplish the “routine” tasks the other tasks on my list seemed extremely overwhelming. Unable to process how to rearrange my day, I walked around in circles, pacing the room, trying to think it all through. The feeling of being lost triggered more confusion and frustration. By the time poor Roy got home at 4:15, I was not in a good place.
ing my freedom to get into the car and go & do whatever/whenever. I wept for the lost memories that now are only photographs to me. I wept for the financial burdens this has brought. I wept for my family and the changes they will have to make and the challenges they will have to endure.
me of these things. However; with each “adventure” I have to weigh the consequences. Take for example a simple trip to that mega superstore that we all hate but seem to flock back to. For me the confusion begins the minute I exit the car. Walk through the sliding doors someone’s collecting carts and jamming them together with a clatter, clatter, bang, bang. A child is screaming, a couple fighting, someone stocking shelves, person in front of me blocking the aisle while on her cell talking about an affair. Noise, noise everywhere! Voices become amplified as though I am in a cave. Concentrate, just follow the list. Out of dog treats – pick a different one. Moved the tuna – track it down. Chicken won’t be done for 30 minutes – what else can I get for dinner. That means redoing the menu. OK, what do I need? Noise everywhere, baby crying, kids running, people talking, carts banging. Aisles are closing in. Someone I know, oh help! Talking fast – I hear them, but the words are not connecting. Boxes on the floor, carts in the pathway, chatter, noise – chaos! Whew! Finally done. Double-check the list. Go to the checkout – one lane open, 8 people in line. Noise intensifying – coming from every angle. Can’t think, getting stressed, sounds like everyone is speaking through a boom box. Do they know how loud they are? Need to get out of here! The outcome of an adventure to me often results in such mental fatigue that it takes me days to come out of the fog. The one little outing that others take for granted, is often a tremendous undertaking for me. So yes, please continue to invite us to participate in events; but understand there are times the answer has to be no and there are times we will say yes and at the last minute can’t make it. This is my life and Roy & I are making the best of every day – some times that means staying home is the best option.
Dementia Daze Dosage 